You Aren’t In It Alone

There is plenty of ugliness in the world and it’s easy enough to be overwhelmed and feel helpless in the face of it. It can be so overwhelming in fact that we harden or numb ourselves to it because it’s uncomfortable to face and be affected by it all.

I remember learning in highschool about the protests and violence in Los Angeles in 1992 following the Rodney King beating and acquittal and thinking to myself “this all sounds terrifying, why would my parents choose to have another baby in the same year,” that baby being me.

The irony coming years later when I chose to get pregnant during a pandemic and shortly after another wave of major unrest in the US…plus every other horrific thing you hear about. And there have been plenty of moments where I worry about the future my child will experience and with each passing milestone there is the sharp reality that as she gets older I’ll be able to protect her less and less from the ugliness of the world. And what’s a mother to do with that? What is anyone to do with that?

It evokes an intense sadness and grief in me that at times can be overwhelming, and sometimes there is anger about it too. And it makes me feel a little bit crazy because no one has ever talked to me about how the state of the world makes them cry sometimes, although I’m sure I’m not the only one. But being overwhelmed and anxious doesn’t help me navigate life in a way that I believe is meaningful or helpful. 

The answer I think, in part, to the question “what is anyone to do with that?” is to understand what is at jeopardy, what do you hold as valuable that is essentially under attack by the big, scary stuff that is overwhelming and contributing to your anxiety. There is a vision of your life that you hold, when anxiety crops up there is a fear that this vision, this way of life that you believe is important, is threatened. What is it that you care about?

And what are you going to do about it? What are you doing to help create a world in which what you value is a reality. That is no small question, that’s a lot of responsibility to take up. Sometimes it feels like what you are doing isn’t enough but doing “a little” is a hell of a lot better than doing nothing. The things you are able to do, the ways in which you can help will be dependent upon you, your experience, and your skills. 

But one thing is for sure, you aren’t in it alone.

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The best advice I received as a new mother

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I’m no stranger to anxiety